


Latch On

by nyeh413peasants



Series: SPN Fluff Bingo [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Road Trip, Dean Smith's First Time with a Man, Drug Use, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Multi, detailed drug use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-21
Updated: 2018-03-21
Packaged: 2019-04-05 11:00:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14042817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nyeh413peasants/pseuds/nyeh413peasants
Summary: When Sam suggests a road trip, he didn’t expect Dean to be so adamant about not going at first, but when he caves, he thinks it’s the first chance to admit his feelings.  Unfortunately, admitting said feelings means jumping over obstacles.





	Latch On

**Author's Note:**

> So, uh, I didn’t expect it to get this long? Oops. I honestly might do a second chapter at a later date, but for now I'm marking this complete because I'm not sure if I'll ever actually get to it. Enjoy anyhow!
> 
> Not beta'd.

“Okay Sam, this has got to be the dumbest idea you’ve had to date.  There’s no way I’m leaving my job to be stuck in a car for hours on end,” Dean said with an offended scoff as he straightened his tie before diving into his salad.

Sam rolled his eyes before grabbing the salad and holding it away from Dean.  “Okay okay, I get it. I thought you’d be all for it, how dumb of me. But Dean, we’ve been friends for a long time and I think this will be good for you.  Really good. At least consider it.”

“Give me back my salad and I might,” Dean retaliated, holding out his hand with a puppy-dog look on his face.  Sam just looked at him for a moment before rolling his eyes again and practically throwing the nutritious meal right back at him.  He then left the room.

As he walked down the hallways back to his cubicle, Sam thought about how good a road trip would be.  He had some things to discuss with Dean and thought the best route would be going on a road trip before breaking the news.  The last thing he wanted to do was do it at work. They’d been friends for over three years. Sam had met Dean’s parents and his little sister, Jo.  They all got along well and he’d even traded numbers with all of them as he didn’t have parents of his own. Bobby and Ellen quickly became the parents he’d never had.

Sam made it back to his cubicle, earning stares from the others as he did so.  He paid them no mind as he put on his headset, picked up a pencil, and began working.  It was a mundane job and oftentimes, he found that he wanted nothing more than to quit, but when it came down to it, he realized that he’d rather stab himself with iron than leave Dean’s side.

Eventually, Sam’s phone rang, startling him out of his thoughts.  He took a deep breath and prepared to deal with another idiot customer that didn’t know the wonders of turning their machine off and on again to fix the problem.  He answered with the opening every worker had to use and waited. It took a few minutes for the other to speak, but when they did, he was surprised to find it was Dean’s voice.  “My office. Now.” The line then went silent as Dean hung up on his end, leaving Sam staring at the device for a short time before jumping out of his seat and practically sprinting to his boss’ office.

He knocked once before entering, finding Dean sans salad and a look on his face that Sam couldn’t even begin to place.  “What’s going on?” Sam asked.

“I’ll go.  I just put in for two weeks and I suggest you do the same if you want time off- not that I won’t be the one to automatically clear it.  This better be what you say it is, Sammy, otherwise I’ll be pissed,” Dean responded before turning away and continuing to work.

Sam’s heart nearly jumped out of his chest at Dean calling him Sammy, but he just nodded and cleared out of Dean’s office, going back to his department and stopping in the break room.  It took him a short while to find the book where people  _ could  _ take time off, but once he did, he put in for two weeks before smiling down at the book, heart feeling lighter.  He had agreed, now Sam needed to find a way to break the news to him- to admit certain things.

While his heart was light, his head was swimming with ideas as he closed the book and went back to his tiny cubicle.  He began working once more, voice much less bored when he answered calls. The rest of the day flew by and, when it was finally time to go, Sam took off his headset, put it to the side, and grabbed his things, going up to Dean’s office as he always did when he got off.

His smile faltered when he knocked and came in despite not hearing an answer, only to find Dean already gone.  Sam’s phone chirped in his back pocket. He pulled it out and found a text from Dean.  _ I went home early to pack.  I suggest you do the same. _

Sam snorted before he sent another text back in response.   _ Right.  Be at my place at 9 am tomorrow.  I want to get an early start. _  With the text sent, he pushed his phone back into his pocket and backed out of the room, closing the door along the way.  His heart went right back to feeling light as he left Sandover and went home.

Once home, Sam walked into his bedroom and found an already packed suitcase lying on his bed.  He’d held onto hope that Dean would say yes, and he had, so the packing part had already been finished.  He had a feeling it would take Dean all night since the other was so damn picky about everything he wore.  Sam smiled and shook his head at the thought before putting the suitcase on the floor next to his bed and making quick work of changing into different clothes.  Afterward, he went into the living room and ordered takeout before dropping his cell phone beside him and turning on the TV.

Sam had never really been one for TV, unless it was movies centered around the things that go bump in the night.  But if he ever needed to pass the time, he knew he could always watch mindless television. However, as he watched, his mind began to wander- to Dean and what he was doing, what Sam would have to admit to him on the road.  He began to wonder if doing so on the road was such a good idea. If Dean wasn’t for it, he would have nowhere else to go. They’d be stuck in a car together for hours on end, just waiting until they could get home. Sam knew he would probably quit then, cut off all ties with Dean just from the humiliation of it.

The doorbell ringing brought Sam out of the depressing thoughts, making him shake his head as he grabbed his cash and opened the door, quickly paying the delivery girl and taking the bag.  He watched dumbly as she pushed a strand of her long black hair out of her face and smiled up at Sam.

“You sure are tall,” she said softly, biting her bottom lip.  It was flirting if Sam ever saw it.

He handed her a tip before promptly closing the door in her face before she could say anything else.  He didn’t want to be rude about it, but he knew girls like that. They didn’t know when to quit, so sometimes a door slammed in their faces caused them to learn.

He shook his head, running a hand through his hair as he sat back down on the couch, opening up his food and pulling out all the boxes of Americanized Chinese food inside.  Once everything was set out neatly in front of him, he dug in, not realizing just how hungry he’d been. He ate until his stomach felt like it was going to explode before laying back and sighing.  His eyes fell closed soon after as he was pulled into sleep.

A pounding at the door pulled Sam from his sleep, and he found himself staring dumbly around the room, trying to figure out exactly where he was before it all hit him.  He practically jumped up, checking his phone and finding nine missed calls and fifteen texts before looking up at the time. 1 PM. He cursed loudly before going to the door, already knowing who was waiting on the other side.

As soon as he opened it, Dean let himself in, suitcase in hand.  “Huh, so, you want to get an ‘early start’?” he asked, looking around before covering his nose.  “It stinks in here, man.”

“Look, Dean, I’m sorry, okay?  After I ate last night, I fell asleep without setting my alarm… or putting the food away.  That’s probably where the smell is coming from,” Sam said as he walked over to the coffee table and began packing away the rancid Chinese food.  He threw it all in the trash as Dean watched. “Just let me shower and change and I’ll be ready. I’m already packed up and ready to go otherwise.”

Dean sighed dramatically.  “Fine. Go, go. I don’t want you stinking up the car.”

Sam chuckled.  “Jerk.”

“Bitch.”

On that note, Sam sped-walked to the bathroom, taking a quick five minute shower and drying off once he got out.  He exhaled nervously as he changed into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. Part of him wanted to get dressed up, but he knew that comfort outweighed everything.  He’d packed enough sweatpants and one nice outfit, which was good enough for him.

He dried his hair slightly with the towel before running his fingers through it and brushing his teeth.  Once he deemed himself ready, he left the bathroom and grabbed his suitcase, exiting his bedroom and meeting with Dean, who was sat on his couch watching TV.  It was a nice picture, but one that he wouldn’t be seeing as soon as Dean saw him, he turned it off and stood.

“Ready?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Sam responded, hoisting up his suitcase and opening the door for Dean, who exited with a quick ‘thanks’.  He made sure the door was locked before exiting as well, testing the door just to make sure it was all fine. The two made their way downstairs and to Sam’s car, throwing their cases in the trunk, but not before Sam took out the blankets and pillows in the back, throwing them into the backseat.  “All right. You ready to kiss this place goodbye for awhile?” he asked.

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Dean responded, looking around as if he were leaving forever.  Sam snorted at the look and got in the car, starting it up and making sure everything was adjusted correctly.  He had a feeling he would need to be a lot safer with the way he drove since Dean would be going with him. If anything, the thought made him more nervous.

Dean climbed in as well, putting his seatbelt on and adjusting his seat.  Sam glanced at him, trying not to smile at the fact that Dean looked like a child getting ready to go to the dentist- nervous and unprepared.  He looked away quickly before the other could catch him and started the car, pulling out of the community lot and speeding away.

They rode in silence until they passed the county line, leaving behind their lives for just a little while.  Sam could hear Dean exhale deeply before the radio suddenly came to life. It was a pop station- Sam’s guilty pleasure.  He looked over just as Dean made a face and changed it to NPR before smiling softly and settling back. He grew bored quickly after listening to fifteen minutes of it, but Dean was content which was good enough for him.  At least, right then. He wasn’t looking forward to the rest of the trip being filled with NPR.

Sam drove all night and all day, only stopping when one of them had to go to the bathroom or get something to eat or drink.  They eventually stopped in Pennsylvania, buying a motel room and carrying all of their things inside, both showering before settling down.  As they did, Sam looked over to Dean, wondering if he should say something so soon. Confessions were hard, and he knew that better than anyone.

Eventually, he decided to keep his mouth shut.  Saying something early on wouldn’t help anything and he knew that.  Instead, they settled down, turning on the TV and sitting back. It didn’t take long for Sam to fall asleep, not a word spoken between the two of them.

 \---

 An annoying alarm was the first thing Sam heard when he woke up the next morning.  He stifled a yawn before getting out of bed and padding to the bathroom, taking a piss and brushing his teeth before coming out, much more refreshed than before.  He froze when his eyes settled on the sleeping Dean settled in on the other bed. His heart jumped in his chest, his face softened as he stood and stared at the other.  That is, until he shifted and opened his eyes, automatically causing Sam to jump and start moving toward his own bed.

“Morning,” Dean muttered, running a hand over his face as he sat up.  Sam noticed with a jolt that Dean wasn’t wearing a shirt, making his face red as he turned away.

“Y-yeah, morning,” he said quickly, stuttering slightly and nearly causing him to curse aloud.

Dean gave him a look that Sam caught out of his peripheral vision, it was a look of utter confusion.  “Sorry, haven’t woken up yet. Need coffee.”

“Coffee sounds good,” Dean said, stretching as he got out of bed and revealing a pair of boxers underneath.  It made Sam wonder if he’d still wear the same things around him if he knew, really knew. Still, he didn’t say anything.

“Go ahead and shower.  I’ll see if I can find coffee and breakfast downstairs,” Sam said as he stood up from the bed and pulled on his shoes.  He wouldn’t bother changing out of his pajamas and doubt anyone else there would have either.

Dean simply nodded and Sam took the cue to leave the room, taking the elevator downstairs and walking to the kitchen where breakfast tables were laid out with eggs, pancakes, bagels, muffins- everything.  He started off by getting four cups of coffee, figuring if Dean wouldn’t drink two, he’d have no problem drinking three, especially if they were going to pull another day and night of driving. Sam then made up two heaping plates of food, wondering if Dean would have a problem eating any of it, though he was sure he’d finish it off if the other did.  He was literally a human vacuum.

Once finished packing together everything and figuring out how to carry it all, Sam worked his way back upstairs.  He got to the room fairly quickly and wondered if it had been  _ too  _ quickly.  He didn’t want to walk in on anything, or rather, he did but didn’t want Dean to be made uncomfortable by any of it.  In the end, he decided to knock as loudly as he could with his elbow. He could hear footsteps followed by the door opening.

Dean looked around, brows raised.  “Why’d you knock?”

“Wasn’t sure if you were decent,” Sam said with a shrug.

He rolled his eyes before stepping aside so Sam could come through.  As he walked by, Dean eyed the plates and cups closely. “What’s all that?” he asked.

“Breakfast and coffee,” Sam replied, setting everything on the crappy table in the corner of the room and sitting down.  He looked up at Dean with a small smile. “I got a little bit of everything.”

Dean approached the food looking thoroughly disgusted with all of it.  He stared for a small while before settling on a bagel and cream cheese, loading it up before eating and washing it down with small sips of coffee.  “So where are we headed next?” he asked after he’d swallowed a bite.

Sam swallowed his own before speaking.  “I was thinking we could go to Indiana,” he said before shoveling in another large bite.

“Okay,” Dean nodded.  “You’re leading the way.  So, are we going around the country or what?”

Truthfully, Sam hadn’t actually thought about where their final destination was, but he wanted it to be fun for both of them.  “Where have you always dreamed of going?”

Dean took another few bites of his bagel, chewing thoughtfully, before answering.  “California. I’ve heard it’s beautiful there, though truthfully, I’m content with anywhere.  I actually haven’t been out of Maine. Almost did, backed out at the last minute.”

Sam smiled.  “I traveled my entire life, so it’s not that new to me.”  He tapped the table. “California it is. We go to California and then head back to Maine.”

“Shouldn’t you have figured this out before taking me on this trip?” Dean asked.

“Maybe, but that’s not spontaneous,” he replied with a smirk, making Dean shake his head before finishing off his bagel and rubbing his hands together.

Dean stood up.  “I’m assuming you’re finishing this, so I’ll watch the news while you finish eating and then spend another ten minutes getting ready.”  And with that, he walked over to his bed and flopped down, crossing his legs and sitting back.

Sam looked away quickly, focusing on his food.  Soon enough, he had finished and found himself in the bathroom once more, staring at his reflection in the mirror.  California. He would tell Dean in California. With a sigh, he hopped in the shower, taking a quick one before finishing up his morning routine, turned in the room key, and headed out to the car with Dean.  They slid inside, Sam starting the car and Dean automatically turning on the radio, but Sam slapped his hand away with a stern glare.

“No way.  We’re listening to  _ my  _ tunes today,” he said, pulling a mixed CD from a large case before putting it back under his seat.  He popped it in and turned up the radio as  _ Be Mine _ filled the car.  Dean groaned and Sam smiled, putting the car into drive and guiding the car out of the parking lot and onto the road.

Part of Sam wished he could let Dean drive, just so he could watch the scenery go by.  It was one of his favorite things to do as a child. As his parents drove in the front, holding hands, he would smile fondly at them before turning to the greenery flying by.  It was all so lush and beautiful, and part of the reason why he hated being stuck in a cubicle all day when it could be enjoying it all. However, ever since the wreck, he never let anyone but him drive a vehicle he was in.  

The thought caused a chill to slide through Sam’s body, making him visibly shiver and causing Dean to look over at him.  “You okay?”

“Yeah, fine,” Sam answered quickly before turning up the radio so nothing else could be said until the moment passed.

Sam ended up driving straight through Indiana into Chicago, where they decided to stop, giving in and getting a nice hotel room and wandering during the night.  Sam walked with his hands in his pockets while Dean looked… free. It was something he’d never seen on the man’s body before, but it was endearing. He laughed and looked at all the sights, trying to take everything in at once.

“We could go to a strip club.  I’ve always wanted to go to one,” Dean said, pointing up at an old-looking building promoting sexy women.

Sam’s heart fell slightly as he tried to come up with an excuse, any excuse, that he couldn’t go in.  That he simply had no desire to see scantily clad women dancing. He could see the appeal, but he much rather preferred… something else.  Or rather,  _ someone _ else.  He licked his lips as he looked to Dean once more, finding the other staring at him with a tilted head.

“You okay?” he asked.

“Yeah, just don’t feel like going in,” Sam replied, beginning to walk briskly away from Dean.  He made quick work of catching up, resting a hand on his shoulder and sending a jolt through Sam’s body as he turned around to face him.

“Look, we’ve known one another for a long time.  You can tell me, you know that, right?” Dean asked, keeping his hand on Sam’s shoulder and making it rather difficult for him to breathe.

“I know.  There’s really nothing wrong,” Sam said, trying his hardest to reassure him.  On the one hand, he desperately wanted to shake that hand off his shoulder before he did something stupid, but at the same time, he wanted Dean to keep touching him.  To revel in the feeling. “Come on. Let’s go see The Bean or something.”

Dean nodded and they began walking again, this time closer than before.  Their hands brushed together a few times until Sam stuffed them right back into the pockets of his jeans.  He didn’t bother looking over at Dean, who probably hadn’t even noticed. Being around him was starting to wear on him in a way he never thought it would.  It caused him to stop in his tracks, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Actually, I might just go back to the room.  I’m tired from the drive. You go to the strip club, okay?” Sam said, motioning for Dean to go along without him as he took a few steps back.

“Are you sure?” Dean asked, quirking a brow that could hardly be seen on the dimmed streets.

“Yeah.  Just be careful and text me if you need me,” Sam said.

Dean shrugged.  “All right. See you back at the hotel,” Dean said, waving quickly and jogging back to the strip club as Sam started walking in the opposite direction.  He swallowed a few deep breaths as he tried not to panic. He had backed out and now Dean was probably meeting beautiful women. For all Sam knew, he would meet the one in there and it’d all be fucked.

He carded a hand through his hair as he walked, not stopping until he reached the hotel.  He took the stairs instead of the elevator, needing more of the physical activity to actually tire him out.  He knew he didn’t want to be awake when Dean came back. He couldn’t handle it that night.

Once inside the room, he made quick work of shrugging off his shirt and jeans, not bothering with anything else, and climbing into the bed closest to the window.  For awhile, he tossed and turned until sleep finally overcame him, releasing him from his dark thoughts of Dean finding someone else before Sam even got to confess.

\---

Sam awoke to the sound of loud giggling.  He opened his eyes, spotting the window first before his heart fell.  The sound of skin quietly slapping against skin, the sound of lips pressing together in wet, drunken kisses.  Dean had found someone, just as Sam feared. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to block out the sound of Dean fucking the girl he’d brought back, but it was as if everything was made louder, as if he’d been given a pair of headphones, everything made much louder.

He wanted to leave, to get the hell out of there and try to focus on the things that were important.  Like the fact that Dean seemed to be having a good time, that he’d found someone to give himself to, even for a night.  It didn’t mean that he’d lost his chances with Dean, it just meant that he was too slow on telling him and he’d found someone else to sleep with for the time being.

Ultimately, Sam simply pulled the covers over his head and pretended to sleep until Dean and the woman did as well.  He could hear their breathing becoming deeper, hear the sheets moving only occasionally instead of often. It meant it was safe to get up.  He quickly decided he would find someone too, if only to take away the pain for a short time. He tried to convince himself that he needed it, even if he did end up calling out Dean’s name when he came.

He stood up as quietly as he could, pulling on his jeans and a hoodie, grabbing his key to the hotel room and leaving.  He wandered the streets until he found a gay bar. Perfect. It was still pulsating with liveliness, ready for him to find someone.  With a deep breath, he walked inside, met with bodies grinding against one another and women sitting at the bar, drinking their beverages and staring at the men hungrily.  Sam very nearly rolled his eyes at them.

Moving further inside, Sam bumped into a guy who muttered a quick apology, glancing at Sam before doing a double-take.  “Oh, hey. I’ve never seen you ‘round here before. You a tourist?” he asked, coming closer.

“Something like that,” Sam responded over the music.

“What’re you here for?”

Sam decided to just be honest, it never hurt anyone.  And he couldn’t deny the guy was good-looking, which was just an added bonus.  “Turns out the guy I like is seemingly straight. He just had sex with a girl in the bed next to mine, so I need to get my mind off him.”

“Damn.  I’m sorry, man.  But, if you’re looking for a bit of short fun, I’m your guy,” he said, coming even closer until their bodies brushed against one another.  “Y’know, they have rooms on the second floor you can rent out. You up for it, babe?”

Sam smiled, hoping it hid the pain that he felt.  “Definitely.”

The man took Sam’s hand and led him up the stairs where a desk was sitting toward the back.  Sam and the other approached it, quickly asking for a room and being granted permission, paying quickly, and being handed a single key- not that Sam was complaining.  He let the shorter male have it before they practically ran to their room.

As soon as the door was closed, the man’s lips were on his, his tongue down Sam’s throat.  He moaned as he struggled slightly with his pants, trying to push them down without breaking the kiss.  Eventually, he succeeded, sloppy kiss still intact. He could feel the man’s hands running down his chest, moving even further downward before stroking his hardening cock, fondling his balls.  Sam closed his eyes, trying to pretend it was Dean in front of him, touching him.

The man pushed Sam back toward the bed, but before he could get him there, Sam quickly turned around and shoved him down onto the soft surface.  He tried not to think about the fact that hundreds of other men had probably used that very bed to satisfy themselves.

“What do you want?” Sam asked, voice growing deeper with arousal.

“Suck me off?” the man asked.

Sam nodded and dropped to his knees, pulling off the man’s pants and tossing them to the side.  He was pleased to find out the man was already rock-hard, which made Sam’s job much easier. He lifted the cock from the man’s abdomen and licked up the shaft before diving down and licking and sucking at his balls.  As he did so, he began stroking the man’s cock slowly. He could hear moans coming from the other as hands tangled into his long hair.

“Shit, you’re so good at this, babe,” the man choked out, giving Sam’s hair a small tug, which automatically sent the feeling down to his cock.  His hair being pulled on was one of the biggest turn-ons for him, not that the man knew. Not that Dean knew.

He hummed and closed his eyes again, working his magic without sight.  After he’d worked the man’s balls over slightly, he traveled back up to his cock, sucking and licking at the tip before taking the head into his mouth, working his tongue over it for a moment.  As he lowered his head, Sam heard the man moaning- or, at least, he thought it was a moan at first. He opened his eyes, glancing upward until he saw the tears tracking down the man’s face, his chest heaving with sobs.

Sam stopped what he was doing quickly, pulling off the man’s cock and climbing onto the bed beside him.  “Are you okay? Did I hurt you? Do something wrong?”

“No, no.  God no, you’re fantastic.  Too fantastic. You- you remind me of my husband,” the man said, swiping at his cheeks to get the tears off.  Sam’s heart fell, as did his face. Married. Of course he’d started sleeping with a married man. However, the guy picked up on it, quickly reassuring him, “He’s dead, but still my husband.  He died overseas and I know he wouldn’t want me to just wallow over lost love between us, so I started coming here a few months ago. The guys I met weren’t good. Most of ‘em were just curious about what it was like to be with another man.  But you. You remind me of him, the way you were workin’ me over just- Fuck, I’m sorry.”

Sam shook his head.  “We don’t have to have sex, you know.  Here, turn over for me.”

Confusion was written all over the man’s face, but he still did as Sam asked, turning onto his side as Sam laid next to him, wrapping an arm around his torso tightly.  “Why don’t you pretend I’m him, and I’ll pretend you’re my guy?”

The man chuckled.  “Yeah. Yeah, sounds good to me.  What’s your name anyway?”

“Sam.”

“Eric.”

With names out of the way, the two grew quiet, simply laying there until sleep overcame the both of them.  It hadn’t exactly been what Sam was looking for, but he quickly discovered that it had been what he really needed.  Before sleep captured him, Sam pressed a kiss to the middle of Eric’s back, nuzzling up to him.

\---

Sam awoke the next morning alone.  He stretched and looked around, noting that Eric had taken his clothing and gone.  He sat up, running a hand through his hair and looking around the room further, wondering if Eric had left a note or anything else behind, but found nothing.  With a sigh, he got out of bed, pulling on his own clothing and leaving, turning in the key before heading out of the building and walking back to the hotel.

He opened the door and walked in, surprised when Dean came right up in his face, angry as he’d ever seen him.  “Where in the hell were you, Sam? I’ve been trying to get ahold of you, but you left your goddamn cell phone here.  Do you know how worried I was?”

Anger flared up in Sam.  “Oh, sorry  _ dad _ .  Sorry I had to get away from the fuck fest you had going on.”

Dean’s face paled.  “You heard that?”

“You weren’t exactly quiet about it,” Sam responded, crossing his arms over his chest as he stared down at the other.  “So, yeah, I left without taking my phone. I was pissed- I still am pissed, actually.”

“If I remember correctly,  _ you  _ were the one that told me to go to the fucking strip club!  It’s not my fault I brought someone home,” he growled.

Sam let out a dry laugh.  “Yeah, you’re right. I told you to go, but you’re not supposed to bring the girls home.  You’re supposed to look and throw them money. I don’t know what in the hell possessed you to bring one back to our room  _ without asking me _ , but don’t do it again.”

“Fine.  We can get separate rooms next time since it bothered you so much.  Where did you go anyway?” Dean asked, pushing his hands into his pockets.  It was clear to Sam that he didn’t want to fight anymore. He had to deal with fighting enough at work.  He wanted a break.

“I- I just went out,” Sam said, the anger simmering down at the question.  He wasn’t about to tell the truth, but he couldn’t come up with a lie fast enough.  A half-truth would have to do.

“Great, well, I’m already showered, so go ahead and get ready.  I want to get out of here,” Dean said before walking back to his bed and sitting down, facing away from Sam.

Wordlessly, Sam walked to the bathroom, going through the motions but not really aware of anything.  After the night before, he figured things would be better, but he found that it only hurt more.

After he’d finished, the two gathered their things and left the hotel wordlessly, climbing into the car.  Dean turned on NPR without saying anything and Sam was too exhausted to fight him on it, so he drove. They drove from Illinois through Missouri and Kansas, eventually stopping in Colorado for the night.  Sam already knew what he wanted to do to pass the time, especially since Dean was adamant on getting a room for himself.

Together, they walked into the motel, checking in and getting two separate room keys for the night.  Wordlessly, Sam took his things up to his room and left, unsure if Dean had done the same or was simply staying in for the night.  If he were being honest, he didn’t really care what the other was doing.

The warm dusk air hit him as he left the motel.  He got into his car and started driving, looking for the perfect place to stop.  He’d brought plenty of cash and he knew it, he just needed to find the right person.  Eventually, he came across an older looking building passed off as a coffee shop. He could see smoke rising from the back of the building and people laughing as others played guitar.

Sam parked and got out of the car, approaching the building and walking in.  Some people smiled at him, others knew he was new and sent glares his way, but no one spoke to him.

He approached the counter slowly, clearing his throat to get the barista’s attention- an attractive man with a scar running down the side of his face.  “Can I help you?” he asked in a gruff voice.

“Yeah, uh, I’m new here so I’m not really sure what to ask, but I’m looking for some… green,” he said softly.  He could feel his face turning red. It wasn’t too often that he smoked, so he wasn’t sure how to go about it.

The man chuckled.  “Go to the back, boy.  And have a good time,” he said with a wink.

Sam smiled in response and walked to the back where a few people were surrounding a woman handing out different sized baggies depending on how much cash was given to her.  Sam pulled his own money out of his pocket and approached.

“How much ya want?” the woman asked, her eyes landing on Sam.

“Whatever this gets me,” he responded, handing over the wad of money and watching as her lights lit up.  She spent a few moments counting it before letting out a laugh.

“Well, looks like you’re clearing me out,” she said, handing him four different sized baggies.  “Thanks, kid. Have fun.” And with that, she walked away, stuffing the money down her shirt.

Sam snorted as he watched her stalk off, shaking his head before stuffing his purchases into his pockets.  He then walked out of the coffee shop without another look at anyone. He made quick work of driving to the motel, walking past Dean’s room and freezing at his door.  He wasn’t sure what the other would say, but the polite thing to do was ask if he wanted to join.

He knocked on the door and took a step back.  Dean answered a few moments later. “Yeah?”

Sam took a deep breath before answering.  “Just wondering if you wanted to come to my room and smoke with me.”

“Is that even allowed?” Dean asked.

“Don’t know, don’t care,” Sam said with a shrug.

“I’ve- never done it before, but what the hell.  This trip is all about trying new things, right?” he asked with a chuckle.  Dean stepped out of his room, shutting the door tightly behind him and stuffing his key into his pocket before heading over to Sam’s room.  He let the both of them in before turning into a resource master and grabbing a roll of paper towels, aluminum foil out of one of his bags, and taking the weed out of his pocket and setting it on the bed.  Dean sat down next to it, watching Sam like a hawk.

Sam unraveled the toilet paper quickly, setting it to the side when he’d finished.  He then pulled a pocket knife out of his pocket. Dean’s eyes widened. “How long have you had that?”

“The whole time,” Sam said without looking up.  “Did you really think I’d take a trip across the country and not bring something to protect myself?”

“Right,” Dean muttered before growing quiet again.

Sam poked holes on one side of the toilet paper roll and then did the same with a square of aluminum foil, pressing the two together and holding it down.  “Okay, it’s rough, but it’ll have to do,” he finally said before looking up. “I’m assuming you don’t know what to do.”

“No.  Show me,” Dean said, inching forward slightly.

He smiled at his enthusiasm, grabbing one of the smaller baggies and sprinkling the weed over the holes.  “There’s a lighter in the front pocket of my bag. Can you grab it for me?”

Dean hopped up, grabbing the lighter and reporting back to Sam, who wasted no time in lighting up, quickly covering one end of the tube and pressing his mouth to the other, inhaling deeply.  The smoke filled his lungs, shooting to his core and making him close his eyes. He eventually exhaled, smoke drifting from his mouth and nostrils as it filled the room in a haze.

“Your turn,” he said softly, handing the tube over to Dean.  “I’ll make it easy for you and light it. All you have to do is cover the hole and suck in through the other hole.  Got it?”

Dean nodded, doing as Sam said as he lit the top.  He listened to Dean suck in and move back, sitting still before bursting out in a coughing fit.  He covered his mouth, bending over as his eyes started watering. Sam laughed, patting his back once before taking the tube and returning to the floor.

“Yeah, that happens with beginners, did I forget to mention that?” he asked with a chuckle.

“Fuck… you…” Dean wheezed, flipping him the bird just in case Sam didn’t hear it.  If anything, it simply made him laugh harder before he held the tube up to his own lips again, getting another chest-full of smoke before sitting back, back hitting the wall.  He tilted his head back as he watched the smoke rise.

“Ready to try another hit?” he asked Dean, who had stopped coughing and was now massaging his chest.

“No, I’m good actually.  I’ll just watch,” he said.

Dean shrugged and kept taking hit after hit.  Eventually, the pain of what happened with Dean left him and all became right with the world.  He looked at the other with soft eyes, a smile growing on his face. “You’re really attractive, you know that?” he asked softly.

Dean’s face turned red.  “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah,” Sam said, taking another hit before setting the tube to the side.  There was no doubt about it, he was high as hell. He knew what he was saying and what he was doing as he crawled up to Dean, but he didn’t care.  Everything that had held him back before had been forgotten. It was as if they were strangers, one finding the other attractive as hell. And the other… well, he didn’t know what the other thought.

Dean stayed still as Sam neared, finally reaching him and using his knees to pull himself up.  “Very attractive. Beautiful, even. Sometimes, I don’t even think you realize it.”

“You don’t know what you’re saying, Sammy,” Dean whispered, turning his head.

Before Sam could even recall what he was doing, he had moved Dean’s face back toward him before inching forward, their lips eventually pressing together.  Dean tasted like weed and toothpaste. Not the best combination, but also not the worst he’d ever experienced. However, before he could get used to it, hands were pushing him away, a red face filling his vision.

“No, Sam, not like this,” he muttered, turning away again.

Sam wanted to keep trying, but he held himself back, scooting up until his back hit the wall once more.  He wasn’t sure what else to do. If that didn’t speak millions on his feelings, he wasn’t sure what would, but it was clear now: Dean definitely wasn’t interested.  But that was okay, he couldn’t force it, he wouldn’t force it. He just had to keep going.

“You can go back to your room,” he whispered, picking up the tube and baggie.

Dean stood, walking slowly to the door and turning around for a moment, opening his mouth to speak before thinking better of it and leaving the room.  Sam could feel tears pooling in his eyes and, instead of holding them back, he let them fall. He let the sobs escape soon after, hoping no one could hear him.  Through the tears, he took another hit before setting it all to the side and crawling into bed. He was hungry and thirsty but wasn’t willing to go out and get anything.

He pressed his face into the pillow, trying not to think about Dean or anything else for that matter.  Everything hurt and not even his high was helping. Eventually, he fell asleep, thanking whomever was in the sky that he was released from the pain.

\---

The next morning came with Sam waking up ravenous.  He couldn’t actually remember the last time he’d eaten and he knew he needed  _ something _ .  His stomach felt like an empty cave or a void, either worked.  He climbed out of bed, running long fingers through his hair and showered, getting ready for the day.  As soon as he’d walked back into the room and started putting his things in his suitcase and destroyed the evidence of weed, there was a knock at the door.  His eyebrows furrowed as he approached it, answering.

Dean stood on the other side, looking sheepish.  “Hey. Just wondering if you were ready. I- want to go home.”

“Fine,” Sam said, finishing up and grabbing his things.  They walked to the car without any words exchanged. He tried to find something, but nothing came to mind.  At least, not until they actually got inside. “I’m starving, so I’ll be stopping to eat something. You’re welcome to join… or not.”

Dean sighed, seemingly accepting until he began speaking.  “Last night-”

Sam cut him off, “I get it, Dean.  You like women. You’re straight. I just…  I need to accept it, that’s it. I like you, I feel like I should just put that out there.  I wanted to wait until we got to California to tell you, but apparently, my mind had other plans last night and I shouldn’t have just kissed you.”

Another loud sigh from Dean surprised Sam, making him turn his head.  And then Dean’s lips were on his and this time they just tasted like toothpaste, and he let himself savor it, head spinning and heart doing somersaults in his chest.  Dean’s hands shot up, cupping Sam’s cheeks and Sam gripped onto the front of his shirt as if it was a lifeline.

Eventually, they broke apart, Dean looking at Sam with wide eyes.  “I always thought I  _ was  _ straight until I met you.  It didn’t help that my family always teased me, saying you’d be good for me and that they’d love to have you.  I’ve been trying to figure out how to make a move, but I’m not used to the whole ‘liking another dude’ thing.”

Sam grinned from ear-to-ear before pulling Dean back to him, their lips crashing together again hungrily, like they had a shared breath and were desperate for air.  Dean’s hands found their way to Sam’s hair, giving the strands a small tug and sending the feeling straight to his crotch. Sam pulled away. “Go get a room. Now.”

Dean looked surprised, but a shiver ran through his body as he nodded and got out of the car, running toward the building.  Sam chewed his bottom lip, palming himself through his sweatpants and gasping for air. He needed this, he needed Dean. All of the waiting and pining had come to a head and now he knew Dean felt the same.  It made him feel stupid for the tears he’d shed the night before, but worth it as well.

Dean came out of the building, waving a key in the air.  Sam grinned, getting out of the car and jogging over to him as he unlocked the door to their new room, Sam pushing him inside and to one of the beds.  Their lips met once more. Sam’s tongue traced Dean’s bottom lip and the other opened his mouth slightly, letting his tongue in. Their tongues explored one another, getting used to the feeling.  Sam’s hands ran under Dean’s shirt, running over his body.

The kiss broke as Dean pushed Sam away slightly.  “Sammy…”

“Yeah?”  Sam asked, breathless.

“I don’t.”  He cleared his throat.  “I don’t want you… inside me.  Not yet.”

“What if you’re inside me?” Sam asked, stopping everything he had been doing and giving Dean his undivided attention.

Dean thought about it before nodding.  “Yeah. Yeah, that works.”

Sam smiled.  “Good.” He lifted Dean’s shirt, pressing kisses to his chest and abdomen, his tongue working over his navel before traveling further downward, reaching the hem of his jeans.  He looked up at the other. “Is it okay if I take them off?”

He nodded, lifting his hips to give Sam a hand.  He pulled the jeans off him, setting them to the side before doing the same with his boxers.  Sam sucked in a breath as his cock was exposed. He’d imagined it many times, but nothing compared to the real thing.  He reached toward it before stopping. “Are you okay?” he asked.

“Yeah.  Just- touch me, Sammy,” he begged.

Sam’s smile grew as he gently grasped Dean’s cock, stroking it gently and watching as his head tilted back, a soft grunt escaping.  He scooted closer, giving the tip a kiss before taking it into his mouth, his other hand moving downward to fondle Dean’s balls. As he did so, Dean’s hips jerked upward, cock shooting into his mouth.  “Shit, Sam.”

He looked up at Dean, grinning around his cock before working his head up and down the hardening dick.  His tongue licked as he sucked, his hand continuing to jerk him off. However, before Dean could lose himself, Sam stopped what he was doing, pulling off his cock and standing.  He slowly took his clothes off for Dean, watching as he stared longingly at Sam.

Once nude, Sam climbed on top of Dean, working his way up to his chest and grabbing the bottle of lube that he had shoved in his back pocket before leaving the car.  “Here, put this on your fingers, make sure they’re covered, and then push them inside me. It’s… almost like fingering a girl, except you’re not looking for a g-spot, you’re looking for a prostate,” he said, handing over the bottle.

Dean gave him a dirty look as if he knew exactly what Sam was talking about before nodding and doing as he said.  He reached under him, pressing one of his fingers at his entrance. Sam sucked in a breath, almost closing his eyes before realizing he didn’t  _ want  _ to.  He wanted to watch Dean- how he reacted and the faces he made.

“Ready?” Dean asked.

“Yeah,” Sam whispered, relaxing and leaning forward, pressing his hands against the wall in front of him as Dean easily slid a finger inside him.  He moaned loudly, looking down as Dean let out a deep breath. He could feel him wiggling the finger around and moved his hips to help him find his prostate.

“Fuck, it’s hot when you move your hips like that, Sammy,” Dean said, pulling his finger out slightly and adding the second.  He continued moving his fingers around while Sam moved his hips. Sam let out a loud moan when Dean’s fingers finally found his prostate, causing him to freeze.

“Keep hitting me there,” Sam said and moaned again when Dean continued on, his fingers hitting his prostate every time, turning him into a mess of moans.  The corners of his vision began whitening as his cock filled with blood. He reached back, grabbing Dean’s hand as a string of pre-come leaked from his cock onto the other’s chest.  “Okay, stop, stop. If you keep doing that I’ll come.”

“Isn’t that what we’re striving for?” Dean asked with a chuckle.

“Yeah, but not too soon.  I want to enjoy this, Dean,” Sam said.

He smiled.  “So do I.”

“Here, give me the lube,” Sam said, grabbing it from Dean and squirting it on his own hand before reaching back and applying it to Dean’s cock, stroking it for a moment before pulling back and sticking his ass out slightly.  He positioned himself over his cock, grabbing hold of it to help guide it in. As he relaxed, he slowly lowered himself onto it, relishing in the feeling.

Once he was halfway on Dean’s cock, he lifted his ass, pulling it back out before going again, this time lowering himself until he was seated on Dean’s lap fully.  Sam watched him closely, watched the pleasure cover every part of his face as they stared at one another through hooded eyes.

Sam pressed his hands on either side of Dean’s head before lifting himself again, quickly, then lowering himself much slower.  A moan escaped Dean’s throat as he gripped Sam’s hips, thrusting into him a few times, hitting his prostate. Sam gripped the sheets, moving his head downward as he tried to hold back the loud moans that wanted to escape.  “F- fuck, Dean. I’m not gonna last if you keep hitting me there.”

“Good,” Dean said, lifting Sam slightly before continuing to lift his hips toward his ass, skin slapping against skin and sweat beginning to build on both their bodies, but he kept going, picking up the pace as well as a steady rhythm.  Sam huffed as he moved slightly, hands resting against Dean’s chest before he lowered his head, pressing his lips against Dean’s in a deep kiss. The position gave Dean the perfect access to his prostate as he began pounding into him. The white filled the blackness of Sam’s closed eyes and before he could stop it, ropes of come began shooting out of the tip of his cock across their chests.  He let out a long, low moan before lifting himself.

Sam looked down at Dean with an exhausted smile before gyrating his hips against Dean’s cock.  While breathless, he still managed to push moans out of his throat, continuing to push his hips upward.  “Come for me, Dean. Fill me up,” Sam whispered, tweaking Dean’s nipples as he shifted ever so slightly, bracing himself against Dean’s chest once more and beginning to bounce.  Sweat poured off his body, but he didn’t care. Nothing else mattered except the moment they were sharing together.

“Fuck,” Dean growled, gripping Sam’s hips once again and forcing him down on his cock harder and faster.  “G- gonna-” He didn’t get to finish as he shot his load inside Sam, continuing to thrust into him before going still, chest heaving at the workout.

Sam leaned forward, body on fire.  It had been quite awhile since he’d done so much work, but it had been worth it.  He smiled down at Dean before gently removing Dean’s softening cock. He then rolled off the bed, landing on shaking legs and moving to the bathroom, grabbing toilet paper and coming back in to clean himself and Dean off.  Once he threw them away and came back to the room, he saw Dean holding his arms open. Sam smiled and hopped onto the bed into Dean’s arms. He pressed a kiss to his jaw before resting his head on his chest.

“Better than any girl I’ve ever been with,” Dean said softly.  “Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it…  God, I’ve dreamed about that moment,” Sam said.

“I hope I didn’t disappoint,” Dean said with a chuckle.

“You didn’t at all.  It was everything and more, honestly,” he responded, kissing Dean’s chest softly.

Dean grew quiet for a moment before speaking up again.  “So, uh, are we still going back home? Because I’d really like to go to California with you.  Maybe… as a couple?”

Sam lifted his head, eyes wide.  “Wait, really?”

“Really.  This’ll take some getting used to but, Sammy, I really like you.”

He smiled, moving Dean’s head with his fingers and pressing another kiss to his lips.  “Then will you, Dean Smith, be my boyfriend?”

“That’s a little gay, but yeah,” Dean said with a laugh, causing Sam to laugh as well, slapping his chest gently.

“Idiot.”

“I know.”


End file.
